Thursday, November 11, 2010

Interview: Vordak the Incomprehensible

Yesterday, I posted my review for How to Grow Up and Rule the World by Vordak the Incomprehensible. If you read the review, its pretty obvious how much I enjoyed reading Vordak's guide on how to become ruler of the world. Here is my interview with Vordak the Incomprehensible. This will give you an idea of how much fun Vordak's book is.

1. What motivated you to create your book HOW TO GROW UP AND RULE THE WORLD for kids? What would you think if an adult got ahold of a copy and became the ruler?

I felt the youth of this planet deserved to be exposed to my indescribable brilliance. Sure, they get plenty of schooling on subjects like math and science and English, but I wanted to give them information they can actually use later in life.

Adults are too set in there ways to use my knowledge to Rule the World. Their brains are already filled to the brim with grownup information like bank account numbers and laundry setting and soap opera settings. Now that’s not to say they can’t still gain great enjoyment from my Magnificent Manual, but growing up to Rule the World is a young person’s game.

2. Care to tell us something about yourself that is not in your book?

I won my 3rd grade spelling bee with the word evilosity. It helped that all my classmates were out sick that day due to a “mysterious” illness.

3. You have a serious, yet funny, personality. Have you ever thought or done comedy before?

I resent that you consider my work to be humorous. There is nothing funny about the business of planetary domination. That’s not to say I can’t be hilarious if I want to be. For example:

Q: How many minions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: How would I know? My time is much too valuable to waste it observing my minions perform routine lair maintenance.

Get it?

4. I noticed that Commander Virtue looks a lot like an older version of your brother. What do you think about this?

Well, I suppose they do have similar hair color. What’s your point?

5. Have you ever done something good unintentionally while doing something evil?

I’m embarrassed to say it, but yes. I once concocted an Evil Plan to shrink the residents of Boise, Idaho to 4% of their current size. Unfortunately, and through absolutely no fault of my own, I set my Shiver-Inducing Shrink Ray to 4% REDUCTION rather than 4% OF CURRENT SIZE , so everyone woke up the next morning overjoyed that their clothes fit better.

6. If someone ever became ruler of the universe, what do you think they should do afterwards?

Change the price of intergalactic Slurpees to $10. MUAHAHAHAHA!!

7. How are your minions Scott and John?

How would I know? I haven’t paid their dungeon cells a visit since they completed work on my Glorious Guide months ago. Come to think of it, they’re probably getting hungry.

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8. Quick! Write down 6 words that come up in your mind.

Evil, Nefarious, Wicked, Nasty, Loathsome, Kittens.

Thanks Vordak for taking the time to answer my questions.

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